Last week in this newsletter we saw an intruder cause absolute carnage in a Spanish winery when they opened a number of wine vats spilling over €2.5 million worth of wine. (To catch up click here.) It was noted then that the vandal obviously had gaul, audacity and a sheer lack of respect for the wine. It was an act of pure spoilage and sabotage.

This week, however, we have a very different kind of thief. 

French police have arrested a 56-year-old winery employee on the charge of stealing wines from his Burgundy based employer. The suspected thief was caught on CCTV footage earlier this month helping himself to some of his employer’s craft and as a result police came a knocking.  

On inspection of the gentleman’s house more Burgundy wine was discovered. There are reports of almost 10,000, carefully cellared yet stolen, bottles being stored in the house and after a collation of the haul, it is estimated that the wines have a current street value of roughly £428,000. 

It is thought that over the gentleman’s 15 year career working at different wineries in the Beaune area, he had amassed the impressive collection. But what is interesting and what really sets him apart from last week’s tomfoolery, is that it is also believed that the gentleman has not sold a single bottle of his precious plunder. Indeed, if we were to read between the non-existent lines and take the rose-tinted view, we could even come to a view of this man as the extreme wine aficionado; a man who views each bottle as so precious it deserves the time required even if it means his own freedom; a man who is not a hero but a silent guardian; a watchful protector; a dark knight (sorry I got carried away).

But of course a punishment is required for such an act, which got me thinking about interesting options. Now I hope some of you have heard the old punishment for being caught behind the school toilets smoking cigarettes: you would have to smoke the whole packet in front of the teacher and as a result your 14 year old lungs would never want to see another cigarette. (Alas, not a fate I ever endured.) So what if the police got this gentleman to sit there and drink all 10,000 bottles. This would punish both his obvious respect for the wines as well as his liver and would be a feat that  even Bruce Wayne would struggle with.

My second thought was to ask the gentleman if he was looking for a UK importer.

No doubt they’ll come up with some boring option like prison, but then what of the wine?!? Looks like the police in Beaune might have a wicked Christmas party on their hands. 

If you don’t know any police in Beaune and aren’t invited to their Christmas party, click the link below.